January 14, 2018
As I sit here for the first time in a long time not being able to sleep, I’m embracing the early morning. Something I haven’t done (quite this early) in a long time – maybe since I was pregnant with Agatha. I just crept downstairs at my parents house, boiled some water, poured milk in a cup and warmed it up with some simple spices my mum has (cinnamon, turmeric, ginger, nutmeg and cardamom). One of their two cats crept into my room sometime around 3am and I haven’t been able to sleep since, he’s so tiny so I was welcoming the company but once he started biting at my feet under the covers I knew I had to just wake up and start fresh.
December 30, 2017
In April 2017 I started seeing a therapist, an acupuncturist, a chiropractor and a Mayan abdominal fertility practitioner. That may seem like the most over done list that you’ve ever read but for me, it was exactly what I needed. I started to form relationships with these various practitioners and by doing so, I started showing up for myself in a huge way. By committing to seeing them on a regular basis, I was in my own way, committing to myself that I was ready to take care of my heart, my body and my mind for the first time. It doesn’t look like this for everyone, your version could be a daily walk, a morning meditation, a weekly swim class at your local YWCA,
December 12, 2017
I woke up this morning with that all too familiar feeling in my chest. If I’m being honest, it came yesterday, slowly throughout the day, until finally at 8pm I knew that I was full.
Full of the feeling of not enough, of discouragement, of frustration, lack of time and feeling like there is too much to do. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when we’re in the middle of what could be called ‘the busiest season of the year’. All around swirling are thoughts about gifts and gatherings, places to be and who we should be seeing.
I woke up this morning to Agatha asking for me from the next room. Jeff looked at his watch and told me it was 5:30am.
November 19, 2017
We’ve been going through what I will liken to a challenging time these past few months. With the transition of being more permanently rooted to the US, with finding out about this pregnancy and being so sick, with Agatha beginning a new morning program – I feel like I could keep listing things until it gets all the way down to the smaller things – transitioning to sleeping on my side, transitioning to a different kind of intimacy with Jeff, to reading more, to finding time where there might be a few things to do but where I genuinely just want to embrace the silence. A balance of good and hard transition.
A place where rhythm didn’t feel as though it existed,