February 16, 2018

I want a little sugar in my bowl

Is there anything better than a deep and moody Nina Simone song on a day where you just need to dive in and feel?

I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection and in the first few pages she talks about what it means to dig deep. At first she talks about what it used to mean to her – digging into that place where you store your energy, the place you dive into when you desperately need some extra help and motivation to a point of exhaustion, burn out and that feeling of not enough (or maybe even boredom). But then she shares how she changes her mentality and shifts the definition she currently holds on DIGging deep.

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February 9, 2018

The parts of us

A few nights ago, after lighting a bright and vibrant fire, I was watching a trailer for a new Julia Roberts movie and within about 45-60 seconds I was teary and had to turn it off.

I am a very sensitive human being. Add pregnancy, hormones, and being a mama and I’m full of feelings pretty much all the time. That night I attempted to be open minded, and Jeff and I eventually sat down to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Part 2. I ended up just getting filled with anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, I love the soundtrack – it’s one we have on vinyl and listen to regularly, but there is something about science fiction,

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January 29, 2018

Day 7 – What’s in front of you?

When I think about accepting my whole self a few things come to mind . The biggest one being that there’s room to improve – that there’s actually so much to work on, to forgive, and maybe even mostly to heal. I’ve been seeing a therapist for about 10 months now – someone who has allowed me to show up as my most positive self, my most scared self, my most sarcastic self and my most sacred self. All true embodiments of me, all who show up at very different times in my life. If you’ve been reading for a while you know I’ve been working on accepting the grey space – that is, not forcing everything to be such a high or a low.

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January 24, 2018

I’m not yours, I’m mine.

 

Today I am embracing 21 days and grey space.

I am embracing a body that is aching, and growing and that after a week of my kid and my husband being sick, needs a breather. From travel, from hugging, from caring, from watching the same movie over and over again, from gearing myself up for nights of coughing and crying and needing to be held. From being on and feeling tense and like every part of me is being pulled, inside and out.

Does that make me sound like a terrible mum?

I think it makes me human. Very very humbly human.

I realized that I needed some space after a few really really great sleeps with lots of pillows and lying on my back where I woke up feeling good –

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