You see that picture up there? That’s what life has felt like for the past six months. Constantly on the go.

So here we are. Time to finally take a deep breath.

Like a really big deep breath. Feel that? It’s hard to do. Everything is stuck and hard and jumbled. It isn’t slow and soft and moving.

Close your eyes. Feel your belly. Feel your throat. Feel your breath slowly rise and slowly fall. Now take a slow deep breath through your nose, feel your belly rise. Exhale out your mouth and feel your belly fall.

If you aren’t frustrated yet, keep doing it. In and out. One, two, three, four, in. One, two, three, four, out.

Slowly we are moving what has been racing around in us, what’s been getting stuck in every nook and cranny.

This is how we’re going to end and begin every single day for the next 21 days.

Sitting down to write this wasn’t easy. My head is full, my belly is full, my chest is tight, my body is tired, and it feels as if there are twenty things I should be doing right now. And if I’m being honest, I could probably do twenty things right now just to have that feeling of accomplishment. But instead I’m going to give in to the desire to busy myself and instead I’m going to let myself actually share what’s going on. Not that I don’t normally put (most ) of it out there but when I started this blog I started talking about all the bits that were happening, what was and wasn’t working and what our goal was.

Heal body. Get cycle back. Eat in a balanced way. Slow down. Say no more. Love more. Conceive and grow a baby.

Today marks just over six months since we flew over to Minneapolis to interview for Jeff’s new job. The start of a crazy process of decision making and life changing adventures. Today marks the first day of a long period of time where Agatha and I won’t be getting on an airplane in two or three weeks. Today feels like Fall. The cool breeze, the little mustard yellow leaves poking out from the dark green trees, the grey sky, the cozy sweaters, the hot tea and the excitement for what’s to come. My true desire? To feel settled and calm and h e r e. In one place. With my people. With my stuff. With the space to create whatever is it that I’m going to create. Big freaking magic.

Whatever part of your journey that you’re own, be all there. I know teachers sometimes say that to us at the start of a yoga class but try it. Be where you need to be. Not where you think you should be, or where someone else tells you to be.

If you breathe a little longer and maybe just a teeeenny bit deeper you’ll hear it – where do you need to be?

It’s time to get out the cookbooks, to gather the food, to cook, to eat, to sleep, to walk, to explore, to be in that one place in that one moment. If you’ve got a new baby, or a toddler running around it isn’t going to be easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. 21 days. That’s all you’ve got to try to do. I am beyond excited to say that there are over 30 of us participating in this round of the 21 Day Holistic Eating and Living Journey. That’s just plain wild to me. When I started this 4 years ago, it was just me. When I secretly just found out I was pregnant with Agatha there were maybe 5 of us. Last Fall I had about 12 women with me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you. Thank YOU.

As we get ready to to close the night and to start the beginning of this I invite you to pick your wind down of choice tonight. A shower or a bath? Maybe you want to sit in front of a candle or place your legs up a wall. Read a book. Go for a walk and look at the stars. Whatever you choose know that by allowing yourself to have this moment in time, you’re slowly breathing all that life back into your body. And if it feels weird, let it feel weird, but just know that there are 29 other people in the universe doing something similar – all showering themselves with love in a small but massive way.

Tonight as I wind down and crawl into bed I’ll be thinking of the one small thing I want to do for myself tomorrow. Sometimes I think it helps me to visualize a few things I might want to do, so I can pick one to try and not feel stressed if it doesn’t work out. This is all about letting go of what we feel like we should be doing and listening to what we need to be doing. It could be creating something special while Agatha naps, going out to buy ingredients for something to cook later when Jeff gets home. Listening to a new album and dancing or picking a new park or lake to explore. Whatever it is, it’s something that excites me and something that f i l l s  m e  u p, because that’s what this is all about.

Remembering what it means to really slow down and relish in the small pleasures. To stop multi-tasking and to give ourselves room to create a fill me up list  instead of the regular to do list. 

Filling ourselves up with all the nourishing goodness we can find in both food and life so we can love and live a little bit more.