February 16, 2018

I want a little sugar in my bowl

Is there anything better than a deep and moody Nina Simone song on a day where you just need to dive in and feel?

I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection and in the first few pages she talks about what it means to dig deep. At first she talks about what it used to mean to her – digging into that place where you store your energy, the place you dive into when you desperately need some extra help and motivation to a point of exhaustion, burn out and that feeling of not enough (or maybe even boredom). But then she shares how she changes her mentality and shifts the definition she currently holds on DIGging deep.

Get DELIBERATE.

Get INSPIRED.

Get GOING.

It resonated so much with me. We’ve all spent countless hours online spacing out. Or driving around getting things we don’t really need. Or connecting with people who don’t actually make us feel good.

Something I often find myself talking about and coming back to is what we do (as a mama bear) when we have “free time”. In between work projects, yesterday morning I was supposed to see a few properties with our real estate agent but with a last minute cancellation I found myself with 2.5 hours free. Since it was above freezing I debated a walk, a yoga class and just some good old fashioned satisfying errand running. I decided to take Aggie and I out for a walk before I dropped her off this morning so once I was flying solo, I went to that much needed yoga class to breathe and move. I finished off the morning with a few simple errands. Sometimes it looks like that. Full, physical and satisfying.

Sometimes it looks like dark chocolate, hot tea and a movie. Other times it might be a 5 minute super hot bath and rubbing oil on my feet before bed. Maybe it’s blasting Nina and making dinner with Aggie at my side.

The point is – within a healthy space, choosing how we want to spend our time is kind of amazing. It’s sort of like this gigantic statement to ourselves that we’re worthy of listening and owning our time, our mind and our heart. At yoga this morning the teacher asked us to face the group and share our name, our guess date, where we’re birthing and if they were to call our best friend and ask them their favourite quality about us, what would they say? She made the point that over the course of her teaching experience, when she asks people to share what they love most about themselves, they sort of create this large open space or pause and feel incredibly shy and uncomfortable sharing. Understood! I feel that way sometimes. Talking about ourselves positively can sometimes feel like gloating or bragging. But actually, in my opinion, it’s just honouring what we truly genuinely love (or at least like a lot ) about ourselves.

The thing that came to mind for me is empathy. I don’t know if that’s the biggest or the most stand out quality about my whole self that I love but it’s something that came to mind. I left the class feeling lighter and immediately got in my car and started blasting this really really terrible song that I used to hear when I was regularly spinning at a place in Toronto. I literally walked out and had this visual of myself on a stationary bike working at a really hard resistance just totally in it. A sweaty smiling mess. Does that sound totally weird? It was as if for a little while there I was standing taller and just felt so full of this powerful strength. ( I obviously felt pretty serious while I was spinning – side note, I then started debating whether or not I should take up spinning at 31 weeks pregnant again – thoughts?? I know Jeff would be over the moon).

Okay – so here we are. Question of the day in the month of love – if I were to call your best friend, what would she/he say is their favourite part of the whole you?

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