May 17, 2017
When I walked in I was in pain. I was tight and I was holding tension. I wasn’t in tune with what was happening in the bottom half of my body.
My cycle came yesterday. How fitting, one of the bigger days I’ve been anticipating and holding on for – her two year birthday.
I’ve been sitting with this idea that it should somehow be perfectly, exactly, wonderfully 28 days long. I have been holding on to that thought for a long time. The reality that it might be 50 to 60 days just doesn’t always seem like something I can sink myself into. I’ve been trying for so long to morph my body into this perfect mold of what a cycle should look like and feel like.
May 14, 2017
About week ago I was waking up to cook – a lot.
Wild Nettle and Blue Cheese Toasts, Spice Roasted Chickpeas, Spring Cous Cous Cups, Herby Potato Salad, Spring Diced Radish Salad, Roasted Salmon, Wild Nettle Pesto, Sweet Cashew Cream Jars and a big juicy cake slathered with chamomile infused whip cream sprinkled with bee pollen.
It was a feast and one I am proud to say I had a hand in cooking. Along with my daughter, my husband, one of my best friends and one of my newest friends.
I’m not a great cook and I actually am pretty terrible at following recipes, somehow I always manage to eye ball something and then there will be like 1/3 of a cup of flour left so I’ll just toss it in,
April 2, 2017
Each time I do this I gain some new perspective, it’s like it’s own mini experiment happening in my house. This round of 21 days felt exceptionally long because I started a week before the official start date to try a few of the nightly routines I was going to share. By day 14 I wasn’t sure if I had another week in me – mostly of cooking but also of turning in early and having such a generously slow bed time ritual. I felt like I was ready to get out, to have a glass of wine and feed the extrovert side of myself.
Here’s what I noticed ( if you care to read). On Friday I was feeling run down and had a headache for way longer than I have in a long time.
March 26, 2017
Stand beside me all the while
Face the future with a smile
Trust in me and
I’ll be worthy of you
There’s this thing that happens when we let go and trust.
It usually doesn’t come easily to us and it isn’t something that we are always ready and willing to dive into.
For the past 22 months I have been blinded in a sense – or maybe masked is the better way to put it? At least that’s what it feels like. For whatever reason as Agatha gets older and as I get further from my first pregnancy and newborndom I am able to recognize ( yet again ) just how in it I was.