There’s something to say for just knowing. Knowing when things don’t feel right, even though everyone is telling you that your body is completely healthy. 

I’ve had that feeling more than once throughout this journey. Most recently, I’ve been so aware of how I’m feeling and more specifically what I’m feeling now that there is a baby growing inside of me. The little twists and turns, the faint little kicks here and there, the general knowing that there is something within you. 

When we found out about the baby’s heart I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Although there isn’t anything necessarily to do about it at this point in time, it was hard to hear something that just didn’t feel right. I’m a pretty intuitive person, so for someone to say that there could potentially be something wrong with this adorable tiny thing inside of me, I found it hard to swallow. Not because I think nothing should go wrong with my pregnancy – I’m not that naive – there are so many sensitive things going on during pregnancy and anything can happen. But more so because I thought I would really feel that something was wrong if there was, and I hadn’t. 

For days I was just quiet, I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t treating myself with the care and calmness I know I deserved. I was being hard on myself because in someway maybe this potential tiny hole was my fault. 

And then I sat down. And I listened. And I felt. I felt these tiny little kicks just bumping around in my belly. And then I thought, sure, there could be something wrong. But there could also be a 100% healthy happy baby growing inside of me. The difference was – someone telling me what was going on, versus me listening to what I felt was going on. 

This applies to anything. Your job, your relationship, your mental health, your fertility journey. Finding a way to really listen to yourself is so massively important. As I’ve said before, I am not a slow person. I don’t find it easy to slow down – it’s something I’ve had to work on for a long time. Listening to yourself can sometimes be even harder because you have to find that quiet place in your mind, where things aren’t racing, a place where your confidence soars and where you just know how you’re feeling and what’s going on. That’s the place where you start to figure things out, the place where you can start to pull yourself out of whatever little hole you might have dug yourself into. 

I AM STRONG
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM BOUNTIFUL
MY BODY KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO