“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about”

[ WINSTON CHURCHILL]

Throughout the last trimester of pregnancy I’ve had a whole new set of sleep patterns. In bed by 9:30 pm, up about 5 times switching sleeping sides, re-arranging pillows, up solidly around 3:30-4 am, writing, thinking, waiting for the birds to start chirping, and then maybe if I’m lucky, if I can get myself sleepy enough, I can crawl back into a warm bed until 7 or 8 am. 

The early morning has always been a special time for me. I have only met a few other souls that love the early morning like I do. The darkness and quiet it brings. The slowness it allows you to feel. The way you can ease into the day with a sense of calm and independence. No one else is around, the light hasn’t quiet reached the sky yet and it somehow feels like it’s just you that exists with your thoughts. 

Sometimes I try to stay in bed and just let myself be, but the thing is, there is always something urging me to get out of bed. Something encouraging me to get up and to creep downstairs, make a cup of tea, light a candle and sit down and embrace those slow moments that I have to myself.  

It’s in these moments that I allow myself to recognize and remember a few simple things.

1. BE OPEN TO THE UNIVERSE sometimes we miss people and sometimes our hearts ache and sometimes we can’t explain what we’re feeling because it’s all so mixed up in there [ the universe exists for a reason, use it, send love out to them where ever they are, say it in your head, say it out loud, shout it as you’re in the kitchen, the universe will make sure they hear it – it can be a baby that doesn’t even exist yet, an empty place you feel in your body, or just someone you wish were close by, i promise, they will hear you ]

2. BE OPEN TO LIFE be grateful for what we do have [ it is so easy to feel negative on your fertility/pregnancy journey, finding something that you can be thankful for, even if it’s one small thing, one little symbol or sign, is so helpful to put things in perspective sometimes ] 

3. BE OPEN TO THE EXPERIENCE say yes to something, to everything, take a chance when you normally would say no or walk away [ people come into our lives for a reason, things happen for a reason, instead of letting the fear take over, or the what ifs, tell yourself why not for once and embrace what that might bring ] 

4. TRUST YOUR INTUITION you really do know [ give yourself the benefit of the doubt, sit for a quiet minute and just listen to what your own body and mind is telling you ]

5. HAVE FAITH if you really want something, have faith it will happen, faith is bigger than us, it extends way beyond anything we can even comprehend and it gives us something to believe in and come back to time and time again [ just like the brazilian wish bracelet that fell off last august when i found out i was pregnant, having something physical to look at and remind you of what you’re working towards, what your goal is, is a way to stay faithful and optimistic that it will happen one day, no matter how long it might take to get there ]