I THINK ONE OF MY FAVOURITE FEELING IS LAUGHING WITH SOMEONE AND REALIZING HALFWAY THROUGH HOW MUCH YOU ENJOY THEM AND THEIR EXISTENCE

Recently I’ve been thinking about what it means to feel lucky. To feel genuine gratitude for the people, the experiences, the genuine love that I have surrounding me.

I recently read a blog post written by a really dreamy blogger that I follow, Bethany. She was 33 weeks pregnant when she went into the hospital last week and she had her baby, Goldie Bloom, this past Friday. Goldie is currently on a number of different support systems at the hospital but mum is doing well. You can read Bethany’s birth story here. After reading that story, I came across this post on The Village Magazine’s blog. Rachel is pregnant with her fourth ‘rainbow’ baby and shares her experience with miscarrying her third. It’s such a wonderfully honest post. 

I feel like I am an honest writer. I share what I feel, when I feel it and I don’t hold much back. Reading about these two experiences made me think about how much gratitude I have for my life. It’s not that I needed to read about sadness to feel lucky, I think it’s more so the pure honesty that really makes me reflect and think about all the little things I am blessed with. 

On the night I read Bethany’s post, I walked into the kitchen at the cottage where my mum was making us tea before bed – I told her about Goldie and how lucky I felt to have Aggie sleeping a room away. She reminded me of all the highs and lows I went through to get to where I am today. She reminded me that each one of us has our own sadness to deal with – that it’s really how we deal with our sadness, how we cope with our sadness, what we turn our sadness into, that really opens our own eyes and helps us to grow. 

Each one of us has our moments, and they are constantly changing. If you read back through the blog, you’ll find a post where I talk about how challenging and sad I found it to talk to friends who had babies when I was desperately trying to make one myself. It felt painful at times. It wasn’t that I wasn’t genuinely happy for them, or that I was stewing in jealousy, I was just plain sad that I hadn’t been able to create my own version of that happiness. And that’s normal. Having those moments make us stronger, more determined, and I think, more grateful. 

In reading Bethany’s post I noticed she talks a lot about God’s plan for Goldie – I admire that. She has such a strong faith that she is trusting in the nurses, the hospital, Goldie and the universe to let her know what the plan is. In reading what Rachel writes you can see how honestly scared she is to have baby number four after miscarrying, but also how simultaneously in awe she is that she has managed to have a successful and healthy pregnancy this time around. 

Life is full of miracles. Life is full of surprises and bumps. The universe has a tendency to know what we need – to instill faith when it has been lost, to entrust us with positivity when we need it most, and above all, to fill us with love when we feel empty. 

Starting tonight I am going to add something on to my nightly routine. After I bathe Aggie and put her down, I am going to sit and breathe. I am going to think about something I feel grateful for. One thing every day. I am going to write that one thing down so that when I need a lift, when I need something to believe in, something to remind me of how good things can be, I can turn to this book of daily goodness. It will be my own book of personal gratitude. 

Tonight I am grateful for laughter. For that shared moment with someone when you both are laughing together and you realize how much more awesome life is when they are around.