A self portrait I took of myself in the laundry mat I spent countless hours in [Paris, 2006]

It’s easy to forget sometimes. 

What you said. What they said. What it felt like when you first met one another. Do you remember what they were wearing? What they smelt like? How they looked at you that very first time? 

I am a nostalgic person. I love remembering. I keep things to help me remember moments. I love talking about moments so I can remember them even better. Each of us holds onto memories differently so there is a big chance that how you remember things are a little different than how they remember things. 

When I first moved to Paris, I would spend hours sitting in this little restaurant by my apartment. Just me, my journal and usually a carafe of wine. My mind was constantly on, I was always thinking and at that point in my life, writing them down in my journal was how I released it into the world. Apartments in most European cities are quite small so you often find that most people escape their apartments to the many cafes on the streets below. In those moments, no matter how alone you were, you never ever felt alone. There were couples and families, friends and single old men, all just there doing the same thing. Thinking and writing, talking and drinking, loving and creating memories. 

That year I was taking a lot of photographs. I was constantly holding on to the experiences I was having. I have hundreds of film slides that I love to look through every few years, just to jog my memory, just to help myself remember the moments that came before and after the picture. 

Today I’m already noticing how quickly things are changing.

Today is one of the first days I’ve woken up feeling rested thanks to a switch from three night feedings to two for Aggie. What a difference sleep makes.

Today is one of the first days I’ve woken up and made myself a cup of tea and just sat down to write, the way I like to write. I’m not even sure what my thought process was for this post today, I think I just want to remind my own self to remember. To take the time to document and savour the moments that are happening. Whether it’s on film, in writing, or in your head. 

I often find that my phone fills up pretty quickly with pictures. In those moments when I really want to remember something but can’t document it, I like to pretend I’m holding a camera. I hold it up and look through the lens, I focus, take a deep breath and think about what I want to remember. Then I click the button. It’s like it’s somehow saved in my mind. 

“SOMETIMES YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE VALUE OF A MOMENT UNTIL IT BECOMES A MEMORY”