Simple definition of self-sacrifice: the giving up of one’s own interests or wishes in order to help others or advance a cause.

Today I couldn’t get out of bed. I wasn’t looking forward to my morning cuddle with my tiny person and I didn’t want to breastfeed her.

But I did.

We got up, I made breakfast while she happily played beside me. I had my cup of tea, we chatted, built up blocks, knocked them down and then practiced standing holding onto whatever was in front of us. She has never looked more happy or proud. I put her down for a nap and then went back and crawled into bed. I could hear her on the monitor chatting away, not sleeping. Twenty minutes later I went in – she was yawning and looked so tired but I know how much she has going on in her head and her body that I completely felt how impossible it was for her to slow down. I surrendered and gave her my breast in the end because I knew it would immediately bring her back to square one. It would allow her to close her eyes, breathe, focus and slow herself down to a place of sleep.

One arm managed to get loose out of her sleep sack and she used it to start feeling around my face – she grabbed my eye, my nose and my chin. Finally, she fell asleep. I walked out of her room I debated what I should do with my time. Crawl back into bed and get some much needed sleep? Or take a look in the mirror at what and where I am now. I chose the latter.

When I turned off the night light in the bathroom and the bright lights came on what was staring back at me was a little bit less than I was hoping for if I’m being honest. Dark circles, less hair, and a bleeding line on my nose from when she scratched me while I was feeding her. I turned on the tap, made myself a hot facecloth like my mum does every morning and I soaked my face. I washed away all of the negativity. I wiped away the blood, I brushed my hair. I cleaned myself up – curled my eye lashes, dabbed some concealer under my eyes, brushed myself with bronzer and blush and then looked up.

This is a more tired version of myself, a bit more beat up, a bit more drained but it’s still beautiful me. I know that I am in charge of how I feel and in charge of how I treat myself.

So I decided that today, almost 8 months into this adventure that although there is self sacrifice on this journey, it doesn’t need to mean completely giving up or giving in. I need to feed my kid in some way whether it’s breast or bottle, I need to care for her, I need to be there to support and nurture and embrace and assist in whatever way I can but I also want to be someone for her to look up to. Being proud of how you look, how you feel and how you act is such an important and amazing thing.

Loving yourself is the important thing.

Today, I’m just realizing and remembering that it is one of the bigger things that I want to pass onto Agatha.

Now go listen to this  (especially from minute 2 onwards ) and smile and read my self love tips below!

 

Here are 3 ways you can love yourself just a little bit more: 

1. Create a self love ritual. One thing, once a day that you love, just for you.

2. Celebrate yourself. All of the goodness that you’ve created, the goodness that was, the goodness to come.

3. Put yourself first. Say no to the things that don’t serve you and then let them go.

“There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This is a season about becoming.” [S.N]