Do you ever open your computer and have 6 different tabs open?

Mine currently look something like this.

Foods to support the post weaning blues, Babies that are too distracted to nurse, Toxic free wipes, Surviving Minnesota Winters ( Fox Meets Bear ), Leon Bridges “Coming Home” ( Youtube ) and finally the Yoga Class Schedule at the studio near me.

It’s easy enough to write the list of things to do. And sometimes, it’s actually possible to cross them off. But for the most part these days I just can’t seem to find the time to focus.

I have all this time (you know what I mean) in the day and then all of a sudden I feel dead. I feel depleted. I feel exhausted. I feel like the little energy I do have left is needed to have a bath, to eat, to talk to my husband and finally ( and maybe most importantly ) to sleep.

But what happens to all those things on my list?

What happens to all that built up energy and stuff that’s just s t u c k inside. Because that’s what it is. I can feel it right now as I’m writing. It’s just sitting there. Waiting to be moved. Lucky for me, I finally decided to do something about it. Last night I walked into probably the 8th yoga class I’ve taken alone since Agatha was born almost 8 months ago. That’s 1 yoga class a month.

I’m not one for judgement, especially of myself, but for me, that’s just not enough. I have to start finding the time to help myself to get stuff moving. Because what happens if I don’t? It sits there. It builds, and it turns into frustration, into confusion and into anger. I just don’t know what to do with it anymore.

 

DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF

 

For starters I can start doing less at one time. Less checking of my phone, of my email. Less comparing and searching on social media. Less walking and drinking a tea and talking on the phone and pushing a stroller at the same time. Less driving and eating and trying to look at a map at the same time. There is multi-tasking and then there is just doing too much at once. It’s a very fine balance but ultimately, when you do too much at once, you end up doing nothing.

Number 2? SAY NO MORE (again). Only say yes to the things that are going to help me, contribute positively to my day – things that are going to leave me and Agatha in a better place.

Put my phone away when I don’t need it. It’s like this mindless trap that just sucks you in. We could probably all space out on our phones for one reason or another for hours. It’s a distraction. It has its ups but it also very much has its downs. Messages will always flood in but you don’t have to answer them right away for the most part. Give yourself some space, allow yourself not to respond immediately. I find when I turn it over, leave it on a couch, don’t look at it for an hour I feel so much more productive and disconnected.

Be decisive. I often think about her naps. I know every mum does. Do you cook? Clean? Do Laundry? Take a shower? Stretch? S L E E P? Make a priority list every day. And make it different everyday. Tomorrow I will cook when she naps. Pick the recipe, get all the ingredients and make it as easy as you can on yourself. The next day I’ll get out my yoga mat, light a candle, play some music and move. The following day maybe it’s a shower, or folding laundry.

When you give yourself only the one task it you make it easier to complete it, to feel accomplished and proud. I think sometimes that’s what I feel most challenged by. The day draws to a close and I think long and hard about what we did and whether or not it felt great. Not to say that every day is going to be great – but when there is some semblance of an idea of a plan (when she naps, if she naps) I can let myself get excited and I can try to do that one thing so that the day feels whole to me by the time my head hits the pillow.

Be positive. Find the goodness in whatever moments you can.

Grow from it. Let the ups and downs give you moments to learn. Don’t hold onto the anger, it will only make you sick and angry. It’s definitely not worth it.

 

FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW BEFORE YOU LEARNED IT

 

Because we’re all still learning. And every day is different. But my favourite thing to do to focus?

Throw on something like this or this really loud.

Put on yoga pants. And right now wool socks because it’s so cold. And maybe even my favourite moccasins.

Make a cup of tea, get a big glass of water, or if it’s past A’s bedtime a really really great beer.

And then write the list. Sit down and write those emails. Read the book. Knit the scarf. Watch the bad TV Show. Drive yourself to the yoga class. Make something delicious.

Whatever your thing is, allow yourself to just do it. Focus in, zero in and make it the one thing you’re doing right now.