I’ve been talking a lot to my best friend lately about feeling things – emotionally and physically. For some people it’s just a little, or if you’re like me, it’s a lot. It can be overwhelming at times so for me, talking helps.

I’ve noticed lately though that on the really hard days I interestingly don’t want to talk very much at all. I want to be alone. To think, to read, to have a bath, to cook, to do nothing. And on the hardest days? I usually want to watch the worst kinds of movies. Like terrible, really really cheesy romantic comedies. I couldn’t figure out why until now. Normally I wouldn’t think too much about it – a lot of people like romantic comedies, it’s a hit genre for a reason, but I’d like to think I’m a little deeper than that.

After having a really tough day, I curled up on my couch tonight and watched Life Happens. It’s kind of embarrassing to even mention it but I’m over feeling embarrassed today. As I’m watching Jennifer Aniston play the same role she played in Along Came Polly, I started thinking about why I love watching people fall in love, make babies, build relationships, deal with death, break down walls, overcome fears and pretty much experience any other pivotal life event.

It’s because it makes me feel.

I know, it’s kind of ridiculous. I feel enough for a lot of people, so why I do I feel the need to feel even more?

Because I finally get it.

The intensity of emotions in ourselves is so amplified through fertility, pregnancy and motherhood. And for some reason watching those feelings come through a film makes it feel re-affirmed. Like there is someone else out there who also feels this much – who knows that it’s the little things that make your heart swell and beat.

There is nothing harder than trying to stay patient when you’re trying to conceive. All you want to do is know that you’ve made a baby.  Maybe you’ve miscarried, or lost a baby in another way. Maybe you’re having trouble adopting or just aren’t getting the results you want from your doctor. Sometimes it’s having people sit in the feelings with you that make things start to turn around mentally. Sometimes it’s having someone agree with you that what’s happening right now really is that tough and that it might not get easier for a while.

That you really do need to be here now in order to get to the next stage.

Embracing how we feel is one way to grieve, to relish, to accept and eventually to move on. It’s a stepping stone. I know it’s not for everyone but when you become a mama, your heart just somehow grows. And grows. And then when you don’t think it can grow anymore, it somehow does. I started feeling the beginning of this through pregnancy with my belly and it’s just amplified as the months have carried on.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to let yourself get upset, get angry, get emotional, to share love, to connect, to feel weak, to ask for help, to be scared and alone and crave support. It’s also okay to want to be alone, to embrace what you’re going through in your own way, whatever that looks like. There are no right ways to feel. The important part is just letting ourselves feel so that things don’t get stuck. So that the energy, easy or hard, flows through our body so we can move past the bad day.

To me, our emotions are one of the most basic connections we have to ourselves. Along with our bodies, they let us know what’s going on. How many of us just before getting our cycles feel emotional or describe ourselves as “hormonal”? There are so many subtle physical shifts going on in our bodies that we express emotionally. Through fertility, pregnancy and mamahood, it’s important to allow those feelings to surface so that we can help our bodies stay balanced.

As I was sitting on the couch thinking (obviously too much) after watching my perfectly bad movie, I thought about my physical body, and then I looked around at the things still left to do before I can wind down for the night. Simple things, household things but also big things, health related things, work related things, life related things. It’s a lot. It’s a lot to take care of your house, your family, your baby. But let’s not forget about you. It’s so easy and I am guilty of it as much as anyone. There are moments of self love but there are also moments of ignorance.

Here’s to feeling. To bonding with our bodies, our hearts and our minds. Here’s to empowering ourselves to reconnect to our true nature and to knowing that our bodies rhythms and signs are there for a reason.