It’s interesting to think about the way things begin. Relationships. Physical Life. Projects. Jobs. Houses. Families. Where we came from and where we are now. Transition and progress are a genuine natural part of life. It takes us from point A to point B. Sometimes without us even realizing.

I’ve been struggling with writing and voicing how I’m feeling this past month – almost as if I was taking a thoughtful pause. Sometimes I’d feel the pressure to write or post a photograph, other times it would come naturally and I’d be able to sit down and write with ease. But what has been sitting my head for a while now is where things started. The desire to heal bodies. The desire to balance hormones. To make babies. To be okay with struggling to make babies. The want to love life a little bit more and to inspire others to find their own lovefestjourney.

Somewhere in there, I became a mama to Agatha. And I struggled with that. I had a really really hard time with figuring out what that looked like. And I still don’t necessarily know what it looks like all the time, but it’s a hell of a lot more clear now than it was 4 months postpartum. I question what kind of parent I want to be, what is important to me, what’s going on in my own body and how I can better help you. By listening? By writing? By guiding conversation? By providing a space? By being a counseling support?

When I feel full (or when anyone feels full for that matter), I feel like it’s always easier to focus on others or what’s going on around us. I naturally put my energy into Agatha and that’s what I started to talk more about – the sleep, the teeth, the frustration, the highs, the lows and what being a mama means to me. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I was in a true baby bliss moving country fog for the past 18 months. I happen to know though, that there are so many of you still out there craving babies. Struggling to make babies. Or sitting there with big juicy pregnant bellies waiting for this wild life force to burst out and touch you.

I once read that to love something is to give it enough room to grow. And that’s what I want to do. I couldn’t put my finger on what was bothering me about where this was all headed until I read a post yesterday from an inspiration in my life. She talked about her tiny people and their own hopes and dreams. And the fact that they in fact don’t even know what they are yet. So by publicly sharing so much of this wild force of nature that is Agatha, I sometimes feel like I’m not giving her the space to figure out what each day is about. And I also feel like I’m taking away from some of the things I want to be talking about and that maybe you want to be hearing about. The best herbs for hormone balance, fertility massages,  acupuncture, PCOS, ovulation, herbs for pregnancy. The Fourth Trimester. Baking bread! Good smelling things! How to build a fire (I’m still learning). Ways to squeeze in self love moments in the early morning. Ways to slow down before bed. The coziest socks! The best home made hot chocolate for the winter!

The little and the big things.

This space will slowly return to it’s roots of sharing and exploring the little ways to slow down, to heal our bodies, to adventure but above all to love ourselves just a little more while we navigate through the wildness of fertility, pregnancy and mamahood.

Stay tuned for some new focused blog posts with my thoughts on trying to conceive after 1 or more year with no pregnancy and gently preparing your body to make babies juicy babies.

If you’re in Minnesota and have a baby, keep in touch for information on local Mama + Baby Gatherings.

If you’re in Toronto stay tuned for information for our Winter Seasonal Mama Dinner that will be taking place in February.