[to follow up with my last post of a tiny human being sick]

Here we are. Day 6 of the sickening ( as we lovingly have started calling it in our house ).

I’ve baked so much my right arm feels cramped from kneading too much dough.

I guess it all started with this cookbook my sister gave me for Christmas, The New Nordic. As I was flipping through the baking section, there was a picture of this delicious looking dark rye sourdough bread that just caught my eye. I’ve always loved dense bread from living in Germany so the thought of making my own just made my heart swell.

I began with the sourdough starter – flour, water, honey, yogurt – cover and let sit. Watch it bubble and grow and start to form a life of it’s own.

It’s been an amazing thing to see and watch unfold. I am learning so much from this little bowl that’s growing and changing in front of me.

I’m learning that I can’t pull from it too soon or the bread doesn’t rise fully.

I’m learning that I need to feed it and that when I do, I need to stir it gently, not quickly.

I’m learning that if I force a recipe to work with too little, it just won’t work.

It started as a traditional rye sourdough yeast and now has morphed into a wild yeast of sorts. We’ll see what happens with it as time goes on.

It’s kind of like a person, or maybe more specifically, it’s kind of like me. It’s made me think about all the times I’ve pushed myself to do something when I just want to say no. Or  when I’ve rushed to get somewhere or eaten too quickly because I felt like I needed to just get it done.

Being home this week with Agatha has been such a good reminder of the art of doing very little. Of slow living. Of baking and letting it be therapy no matter how good or bad it turns out.

I was flipping through The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby + Child Care earlier in the week and I read something that’s so obvious but was so good for me to read: “First, since an over-stressed or over-active nervous system is the basic dynamic in leading to illness, we can put the child in a calm, peaceful, under-stimulating, restful environment…Above all, the child should hear the calm voice of her parents or caretaker”. I loved this. It was the perfect gentle reminder that we didn’t really need to do anything (unless her fever got crazy high, or she developed an out of the ordinary cough) except go slow until she felt better.

This mentality fits perfectly within the world of fertility, pregnancy and mama hood.

The first day was difficult, until I reminded myself of what my mom used to do – tuck us into her bed, bring us all the good food, read to us, draw with us, put on good movies and cozy up beside us. Having that mental image to come back to was what made this week good. I didn’t stress out about needing to get anything unless it was totally crucial. I cooked and baked with what we had in the cupboard. That meant cornbread, rye sourdough bread, date sourdough bread and lastly this morning my friend Johnna’s charcoal cinnamon buns. The best way to celebrate the end of a sickness. They are pure magic.

 

Baking can totally be overwhelming especially if you’re like me and you rarely follow the step by step directions with anything. I’m totally a feeler outer. I like baking bread because it’s about feeling it and working with it as opposed to the exact measurements. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the things I baked this week were pretty terrible because I didn’t follow the directions properly. The cornbread was so dry. The date sourdough bread was so thick and dense.

But in both cases, with a little oven heat and lots of fresh butter, it soothed minds and bodies alike.

If you feel like getting messy, the recipes below.

Rye Bread Sourdough Starter (From The New Nordic):

1 2/3 cups rye four | 400 ML warm water | 2 Tbsp Runny Honey ( I love that description!) | 2 Tbsp Natural Yogurt

* Mix all ingredients together in a jar with a generous pinch of salt. Cover with plastic wrap, poke a few holes in it and let it sit at room temperature for 2 days. On the 3rd day feed the starter by gently stirring in 2/3 cup rye flour and 2/3 cup cold water. Leave it for 1-2 more days, or until it starts bubbling. It’s ready!! Store in the fridge and use weekly.

Wild Yeast Recipe (From FoxMeetsBear): 

2 cups filtered water | 2 cups flour

*In a jar or container, combine both water and flour and mix gently. Cover with cheesecloth and string and store in a dark-ish cabinet for two days. There will be a bubbling that starts to form. If using daily, care for it every other day, adding the same ratios and following the same gentle mix so the flour is combined. If you’re not, cover with plastic wrap, poke holes in it and leave in fridge and use weekly.

 Activated Charcoal Cinnamon Rolls

Date Sourdough Bread