As I sit here drinking some milk maid tea my best friend sent over I’m reminded of how important it is to take care of you. Even when it’s so hard. Even when you don’t want to or maybe feel like you can’t.

It’s dark outside, like the sky is about to cry if that makes sense. I’ve said it before but I love it when the weather kind of imitates how you’re feeling.

I’m inside and Birdie, Aggie and Jeff are outside. It’s my first time away from her for any real period of time, almost 6 weeks in. We talked about taking a family walk and then I just looked at Jeff and I asked if he could take the girls. He smiled and said “get out of here”. He got Birdie super cozy in the carrier and bundled Aggie up with her rain gear and they headed out. It’s literally the best feeling – to be loved and supported while your people are being taken care of so you can take care of you.

Take care of you.

What does that look like? A candle lit. Music on. Fold clothes. Leave dishes. Write emails. Finish blog post. Smell the rain coming. Smile. Walk around house just looking at the mess. Smile some more. Take a deep breath. Start laundry. Change sheets. Fresh. Fresh. Fresh. Smell milk. Miss baby a tiny bit. Deep breath. Space. Allow space. Allow time. Allow yourself to take care of you.

Take care of you.

So six weeks postpartum self care looks simple. Lots of water. Huge pots of tea steeped overnight. Sitz baths at 9pm. Baths for babies in the middle of the day. Showers to wash the milk off. Short walks outside. Rubbing Ayurvedic sleep oil on my feet before bed. A hug in the kitchen. Holding Aggie’s face and reminding her how loved she is. And celebrating anything and everything. Because why not? Getting one baby down to sleep and then the next and then crawling into bed yourself – that’s a big one to cheer for.

Be good to you.

I’ll always remember my forever promise to myself – to feed myself, nourish myself, love myself but above all things, to choose positivity as best I can. I stumbled upon this little gem at the very end of this book I read a few years ago –

“I’ve always believed that every breath is a new chance to choose happiness. It’s been my rallying cry for most of my adult life. Happiness is a choice. It isn’t a place or a set of conditions. It is a fight that you take on and then take on again, every single day. You can’t let yourself forget to choose to be happy. I mean, I let myself forget all the time, but that’s not the point. The point is to remember the fight and get in it the second you can.”

There isn’t a perfect way to go about getting juicy baby toes into our lives. It will all happen when it’s supposed to. There isn’t a perfect way to find silence, or to create a self care routine when you just don’t have time. If anything I’ve realized it’s about trying to go slow and go small. Every morning now when I wake up I try to think of 5 things I’d love to do if I have just 5 minutes to myself. Those moments can feel very few and far between right now so I’ve tried to make them as small as I can so that I can allow myself to actually relish in the nourishment I’ve brought to myself at the end of the day.

Some days it comes easily and others I’m still filled with anxiety and feel like nothing is going right – I want to do better for myself and know I can do better but it’s way harder than that. It helps to take a moment to just remind myself that it’s a season. A momentary glimpse that I’ll someday wish I could go back to. So I’ll continue to sink in. And smile. And cry if it feels right. And look forward to what’s coming, even if it’s just that bed time is in 28 minutes.