April 29, 2015

The bubble

There comes a time when we all need a bubble. 

A bubble from things, a bubble from places, a bubble from people. 

It’s a way of self protection. It’s a way to allow yourself the time and space you need to embrace and do whatever it is that you need to do without allowing anyone else’s opinions, comments, and thoughts affect you. It’s easy to assume a situation isn’t going to affect you until it does, and in those moments, sometimes it really does a number. 

So far I’ve enjoyed three (almost) full days of vacation before I officially start my ‘maternity leave’ in a week. I’ve tried my best to fill these days with as much goodness as I can. Sleep, ice cream, long walks, visiting friends, watching movies and cooking new things. I’ve tried to actively think positively instead of making things feel dramatic and emotional. 

As I get closer and closer to labour and birth I can’t help but to feel scared. To feel afraid, nervous, overwhelmed and like the timing just isn’t right. Like so many other things in life, sometimes things happen when we least expect them to. Unlike so many other things in life, this is one major change that is going to be sticking around for a very long time. When I really take the time to think about it, it’s what we don’t know that usually freaks us out the most. And this, to me at least, is the biggest unknown I’ve ever experienced both mentally and physically. 

The bubble for me is one of the most helpful tools I’ve learned to use in the past few years. Some people call it grounding, others ‘white lighting’ themselves but to me, it’s my bubble. It’s taking the time before I enter an environment, a phone call, a meeting – where I can give myself the space to feel strong and connected and safe. Where I can remind myself who I have on my side. Who is always with me, who’s thinking about me, who’s helping me to stay strong, even when they aren’t physically present. 

When we’re going through huge life changes it’s so easy to feel insecure, unsure and alone. Sometimes we know certain people have the ability to make us feel this way, or maybe there is a place you know that just makes you feel uncomfortable. If you are able to take a minute for yourself before you enter the situation, do it. Take a deep breath and say to yourself that you know it’s going to be challenging, that you know it’s going to affect you and that that is just fine.

Not everything is meant to be easy or smooth. That’s just a part of the journey. You can only try your best to protect what you do have and know, so that you can help yourself stay connected to how good those things make you feel. That way, when you come out of the situation, you’ll still feel as whole as you can.  As connected to you as you can, so that you can face the inevitable change with the strength and love you know already exists within yourself and the people you have on your side.

 

 

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