There are so many days that aren’t easy. Days that just don’t come together. You thought you were getting your cycle but didn’t. You thought you ovulated but you didn’t. You were sure you felt like you had sore boobs but you weren’t actually pregnant. In that moment there are few people you want to reach out to. Some people know exactly what to say and others just don’t. 

Don’t stress out. 

Just stay calm and I’m sure it will happen soon. 

Stay positive! One of these days!

These are all wonderfully thoughtful responses but they are also usually the last thing we want to hear when we are really feeling depleted mentally and physically. I wish I had some magical piece of advice for these moments. It’s the hardest thing because it’s the time when you desperately want to say the right thing or on the other side, it’s the moment that you really need to hear the right thing. I don’t know if this is the right piece of advice but the thing I find most helpful in these moments is to turn inwards sometimes. Listen to what’s going on in your own body. Sometimes you instinctually know what you need to do but you just haven’t realized it yet. You thought you tried everything but you haven’t. Or maybe you have and you just really need a day to feel crummy. Crummy days are just as important as the magical ones. Those are the days that you feel like what’s coming is going to make all of this worth it. 

I’ll never forget a moment where a good friend of mine told me she was pregnant. I knew she had had her own trouble getting there so I was absolutely thrilled for her. But somewhere inside of me I was also so freaking jealous. I felt sad and angry and frustrated that I didn’t think I would ever have that experience. And then I felt so mad at myself for feeling jealous. It was like this wild tornado that I couldn’t stop until finally I stopped, physically. I got up and I walked outside. I forced myself to stop thinking in circles and I made myself turn inward. We all have enough negativity floating around us that I needed to recognize for myself that I didn’t need to put another load on.

I can share in the happiness that my friend is experiencing. I can try to find someway of listening to myself even more deeply, so that when the time is right for me, I’ll just know. 

I like to think I’m a pretty instinctual person. On that day, when I walked away, I knew how I felt but when I finally sat down and let myself breathe I also knew that it wasn’t my time to be pregnant. Knowing this in a calm environment that I helped to create for myself, I was able to recognize that when it finally is my time, I’ll just know.